I went to church today and within the lessons the pastor asked a few questions. I thought about them pretty good before answering them in my mind for a second time and my answers were the same as my first answers.
The message today was labeled: God’s Messengers. But the lessons were about idolatry. We learned about several items and subjects concerning idolatry. Most of them I never would have thought of. Some were normal object such as televisions and such, but others were a bit more… personal in a way.
One of the questions was:
“What are you most disappointed in?”
Honestly, I thought of several things I was disappointed in, but they all lead to the same answer. Me. I am most disappointed in myself for several reasons. 1.) I’m a bit over weight. 2.) My novel is still a WIP (Work In Progress) 3.) The things in the past I have done to hurt people for my own selfish reasons. I know they sound petty, but they are things I think of daily. I have been working on them though. I have been working out with the help of the Zumba DVDs. I absolutely love them! I have also gotten back on track with my writing, but most of all I have built a relationship back with the people I want to keep in my life. The main person being my mother who brings me to the second question asked.
“Who or what are you most afraid of losing?”
My mother was my answer. I know I have done things in the past to hurt her, but I am doing my best to make it up to her. I love her no matter what I say or do. I also know I don’t show it enough. I would give my life for my mother. I would give anything to make sure she’s happy. I regret the things in the past that I have done. But if it wasn’t for those bad times, I never would have become the person I am today. I learn from experiences. I observe everything including how people act and react. My mother and I are closer than we have been in a very long time. If something happened to her today or in the near future I’m not sure what I would do. I have so much to learn still and I have so much to express to those around me. Sometimes I don’t know where to start and others I don’t know where to stop. I come across to people as being shy when I’m really not as shy as it seems. I study the way people act around me and towards me. I try to see people for who they really are before I make my move in this game of life. If it wasn’t for my mother I wouldn’t be the person I am today. So here’s to my mother. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for not giving up on me and for being there for every step of the way even when I thought you weren’t there. Here’s to my mother for being my hero since the beginning. I love you mom!!!
~Kat
