To all the underdogs out there...

If you were to meet me for the first time, you would think I have probably never had it hard. I'll admit, my life is awesome and on the right track. But that's now and I wan to talk about back then before it was going good. I grew up around the Detroit area in Michigan. I had some really good friends back then. Had a few accidents that made people question my mother about abusing me. But my mother never hurt me. In fact, I was the one getting hurt on my own. I would fall or run into things I was too tall to run right under. My mother was always a very hard worker and always making sure I got what I needed and not everything I wanted. She taught me how having the "give me's" never solved anything and how if I was good while shopping I got a surprise. I remember how sometimes in the mornings I would have to go to work with her before school. And sometimes she wasn't there in the morning or after I got home from school. At the time I didn't understand that she was working so she could take care of me. My grandmother was there all the time. She would help me with homework while mom was at work.

I remember how excited I was when mom got home from work. She would tuck me into bed at night and sing to me until I fell asleep. On nights when I had nightmares, she was always there for me. She would get up and scare the monsters away. I always felt safe around her. I still do too. She's my hero and always will be.

We moved to Alabama when I was about ten years old. That's when things got a little off track. You see... back in Michigan I never really had anyone pick on me about anything unless it was in a good way. But my first year in Alabama was like being a mouse surrounded by cats. I remember riding the bus to school in the mornings and there were girls on there who would pull my hair and call me names. I would get called a lot of things for my weight and how I dressed. I would go home and cry about it. I told my mother about it when I realized it wasn't going to stop.

The hair pulling stopped closer to the end of the year. But when I got to seventh grade it escalated. There were a couple people who told me I owed them everything since I came from the north and there were some who told me go die somewhere. Not cool, right...

I got held back a year and ended up going through seventh grade again. I was in special education classes for my hearing. I was born with haering issues so it took me a little longer to get things because half of the things they were teaching I couldn't hear them while they were teaching. But I got out of those classes and never went back. I kept to myself up until i went into my junior year of high school. The names never stopped and there were a few people trying to get me suspended. They tried to say I hit them or that I wronged them. I got picked on by a couple teachers. I was bullied pretty bad back then, but I took it because I wanted to do good in school and keep my mother happy and proud. I tried my best.

When I graduated and started my life in the real world at 18, things got a tad bit worse. I thought I knew everything. I would sneak out and drink at the river with a few "buddies" and we would get platered. I got into hanging with the wrong crowds. As you can tell I got wondered a bit far from the path. There were times when I didn't come home until after three in the morning. I thought I was burden to everyone at that time and I didn't care what happened to me. I would drive drunk and wish I would run off the road and hit a tree. I would drink myself silly until I would pass out when I went to my "friends'" houses. When I was 19 I was still going out to drink away memories from the past, but not as much. I had even "stolen" her car and went up to East Chicago to stay with a friend. I stayed up there for like a week then came home after cops showed up at the house and told my friend's parents to tell me to call her. I called her and found out after I had left the house had caught on fire. Turns out the old air unit froze and sparked. I came home feeling it was all my fault. But then I got back into my old habits. By then my mother had started putting the pieces together. She would ask me certain questions about everything and I would tell her everything was fine and that I wasn't doing anything wrong.

When I was 20, I moved into my "dad's" for eight months... I felt like a prisoner... Enough said.. I don't want them to read this and start something...

After turning 21, I moved back in with mom and built back the bridges with some people. My mother and I are closer than ever before. When I got back from Kentucky, I got back into drawing, writing, and singing. I started hanging out with some better friends and got a job. I kept to myself still, but I was more open with my mother. There are still times when I feel like burden to her.

A few months ago I moved to Tennessee with my mother. I'm taking advantage of the move to start over. Here I can do things I've always wanted to do. I can make new and better friends. But most of all... I can just be me. Now I'm not afraid to tell people I'm a gameaholic or that I love anime and Pokemon. I can be childish if I want to while being serious. I can tell it like it is and if they don't like it then they can get over it because I'm not forcing them to like it. If I have a problem with something or someone I'll let it be known. I'm not afraid anymore. My motto is basically an eye for an eye. I realize now that I can do anything I set my mind to. I don't drink anymore. I don't let much of anything get to me anymore. I'm not ashamed of myself or my actions anymore. I'm on the right track and I'm staying here. If someone tries to shove me off it then I'll shove back and keep going. I was always an underdog. I grew up being one. I still am one. But now I'm embracing it and running forward with all that I am. I'm making the best of it. I have good friends who support me. I have my mother who is there for me every step of the way. And now I'm on the same page with myself. Thank you mom for not giving up on me and being there for me even in the bad times. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

To all the underdogs out there... You can be anything you want to be. Stay on the right track and stay out of trouble. Life will be much better that way. Don't give into the bullies of your life. Don't let them drag you down. Telling someone about your bullies is NOT snitching. If you have anything bothering you tell someone before it's too late. But always remember you are NEVER ALONE.

~Kat